Reading this might be a felony

Yesterday, I wrote about how only the narrow group of people who possess stuff need fear unfounded arrest and strip/cavity searches by pseudo-soldier government thugs. The focus of today’s subject matter limits the potential audience perhaps even further. This post is only relevant to those of you who ever use any kind of technology. So everyone who views this blog through something that does not contain a micro-chip of any kind may disregard the following.

For all of you who are still here, GOOD NEWS! If you are not already committing your three felonies a day, congress wants to help you make your quota.

Orin Kerr shared this today in the WSJ:

Imagine that President Obama could order the arrest of anyone who broke a promise on the Internet. So you could be jailed for lying about your age or weight on an Internet dating site. Or you could be sent to federal prison if your boss told you to work but you used the company’s computer to check sports scores online. Imagine that Eric Holder’s Justice Department urged Congress to raise penalties for violations, making them felonies allowing three years in jail for each broken promise. Fanciful, right?

Think again. Congress is now poised to grant the Obama administration’s wishes in the name of “cybersecurity.”

The little-known law at issue is called the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act. It was enacted in 1986 to punish computer hacking. But Congress has broadened the law every few years, and today it extends far beyond hacking. The law now criminalizes computer use that “exceeds authorized access” to any computer. Today that violation is a misdemeanor, but the Senate Judiciary Committee is set to meet this morning to vote on making it a felony.

The problem is that a lot of routine computer use can exceed “authorized access.” Courts are still struggling to interpret this language. But the Justice Department believes that it applies incredibly broadly to include “terms of use” violations and breaches of workplace computer-use policies.

So ladies, get that secondary market Target Missoni now. And fellas, fill up those spank banks with free web filth while you can. Because the only way to ensure you avoid felonious actions under this new limit on your liberty is not to use any kind of technology ever.

Me, I’m a rebel, and I LOVES my technology, and I just got this new phone, so for now, I’ll keep posting and going about using the interwebs as I please. If you are like me, see you in the penitentiary.


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